White Christmas
by Traacey
Summary: As Kurt gets ready for his date with Adam, he thinks back to the events of just months before, being with Blaine and what it means for them both. *Spoiler alert for Glee Actually and possibly Sadie Hawkins*


**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. I would like to, but it would probably just consist of Kurt and Blaine, and the ratings would be better. Enjoy! This is my first time posting anything, so be nice, please?  
*SPOILERS FOR GLEE, ACTUALLY AND SADIE HAWKINS* **

"Rachel" I yell across the room while looking over my outfit once more just to make sure everything is alright. As she yells back, I walk out of the room pacing back and forth, showing her the outfit I picked out for my date tonight. "What do you think?" I ask, waiting for Rachel's approval. "I think, you're playing it safe, the Kurt Hummel I know would be dressed in more than just a white button down shirt and black dress pants." As she sighs, she continues saying" Look, I get it Kurt, I know you're scared about tonight, Adam knows that you just broke up with Blaine." I flinch when I hear my ex's name. "Kurt, stop thinking about Blaine you need to let him go, you both said you'd just be friends." If I need to let him go, why does it feel like I'm missing a part of me every time I think of somebody else?

_"Dad, where are you going, leaving me at an ice skating rink alone isn't funny!" Burt chuckles to himself as he's walking away, muttering about him thanking him when it's over. "Package for Kurt Hummel..."I hear, and as I turn around I'm greeted by somebody I never thought I'd see again. Blaine. "What what are you doing here?" I ask, stuttering and slightly confused. "Well, I did promise to surprise you last Christmas." As he looks down, I can see him remembering that faithful day when he gave me the promise ring. I clear my throat, watching tears welling up in his eyes, "Why are you here?" My voice sounds stronger than I thought it would, as I'm fighting back tears of my own. _

_"Burt brought me with him to visit you for Christmas, he thought you'd be a lot happier once we've sorted out our issues, so that you can move on with your life and stop worrying about me." As I finally look away from his face, I look down and see that he has ice skates. "As a part of my surprise, will you ice skate with me, Kurt?" I stuttered a quiet reply of yes and he gave me the ice skates to put on. "_

_While on the rink, I hear the opening notes of White Christmas, and Blaine just smiles the smile that makes me want to just forgive him and stay in his arms forever. "I asked the ice rink attendants to play this track when you and I were on the ice together." As the intro ended and the verse began, I was slightly taken back as to the fact there was no singing. Blaine chuckles and starts singing. Joining in when it felt appropriate, it reminded me of all the times we sung together, and all the good times we had. Baby, It's Cold Outside, Let It Snow for the Christmas Special last year, Perfect, and acting out I'll Cover You whenever Finn, Dad and Carole weren't home. All of the tears we had while watching The Notebook, telling each other that we would always love the other no matter what. How life changes hey._

_As the song fades into its final notes, Blaine skates in front of me, my heart stops, and I was absolutely sure he was going to kiss me, he leans in, and I'm sure that I probably did too, but then he skates away. I look over at him while he's staking around me, wondering how he learnt to ice skate. As he stops skating, he comes to a halt in front of me, looks me in the eye and says "I'm glad I could sing with you one more time." His eyes lower to the floor and I see tears leaking from his eyes. I pull him off the rink, and sit him down on the bench removing our skates at the same time. My heart is aching to see him cry, but I'm trying to tell myself that it was his own fault. He didn't have to go screw some random guy. _

_As I'm jolted out of my thoughts, I see him crying, looking up with those beautiful hazel eyes that I fell in love with. "Kurt, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. You are the love of my life, and I ruined it." Turning away, fighting tears of my own, "just tell me the full story," I manage to choke out hoping to myself that this is the right thing to do. _

_"Kurt, I... I can't, you don't deserve this, you should just move on."Blaine mumbles to me, my rage slowly bubbling as I practically yell back, "Move on? MOVE ON? Blaine, you do not get to come all the way out here, on Christmas eve might I add, make me sing a song with you, make me ice skate with you, make me remember all the amazing times we had together, then refuse to tell me what happened that screwed everything up. You just don't." As tears were pouring down my face by now Blaine looks at me and says "We made out, I went to his house after school, the day before I came and saw you. I, I was so lonely, and I know it isn't an excuse, but I thought you were moving on with your life and I should too. He kissed me, and I kissed back, because I just needed to feel something. We ended up losing our shirts and..." By now I just wanted to die, I wanted to slap him for causing me to love him so much and then do this to me. "Then I pushed him off, told him I needed some water. After it happened, that was when I realised that you were the only person I was ever going to want. The only person I could see myself being with. The only thing that would ever matter to me, and I went and screwed it up. I absolutely fucked up the only thing that kept me sane, the only thing I've ever truly loved."_

_"Kurt, please say something." Blaine said through his tears, waiting for a response from me. "I, I can't do this anymore Blaine, it hurts too much. I just can't." Standing and walking away was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. Before I could get far, Blaine ran after me, begging for forgiveness. "Just tell me goodbye." As I turned to face him, prepared to say the word that I promised him I would never say to him. His eyes boring in to mine, filled with love and regret, and everything that made me love him in the first place, I made the decision that I hoped would be the right one "I told you before, and I'm telling you again. I'm never saying goodbye to you. You were my best friend, and I'm trying to forgive you, I really am. It's just taking some time, friends?_

_"Friends it is then." A small smile appears on Blaine's face, and I only then realise that it's the first time I've seen him smile in a long time._

"Kurt, KURT!"I hear in the background and I'm jolted back into reality. "Your date will be here in 20 minutes" Rachel practically yells at me scooting me into the bathroom to do any last minute checkups. Slowly I look down to my phone, 20 minutes, last time I checked I had an hour. I must have been thinking of Blaine for a long time. Blaine, there's that name again. Unlocking my phone to check my Facebook, I see the background picture of Blaine and I smiling while ice skating hand in hand. Friends can still have other friends as their background pictures right?

"KURT! TEN MINUTES!" Rachel yells out to me, looking down at my phone, I see I've got a new text message.

**Blaine Anderson**: I hope you have a great time tonight on your date, we'll talk soon k?

After messaging him back, the door bell rings and I slowly walk to it. Friends, we're just friends. I need to move on. Opening the door I see Adam there, looking dashing as ever, while he compliments me, the only thing I can think of is his British accent, I've always had a thing for British accents, maybe that's why I'm letting him take me out tonight? As I close the door behind me, I close the past chapter, and begin a new one.


End file.
